Hi all, I'm very well aware that it's been over a month since I last wrote anything, and I apologize. This has been mainly due to my laziness and my overall attitude towards my blog. What I thought would be something fun to do on the side to document my travels and experiences quickly became a chore. Something I dreaded doing. A trip meant a new blog entry...with pictures. Damn those pictures! Blogger is a great tool but it is the worst way to display pictures. It takes forever for them to upload and then I still have no idea how to embed them in my text. There is probably a quick fix if I were to take a few minutes to explore on Google, but again, laziness.
I'm also aware that hardly but myself and a handful of others will ever see this blog, so I've been more inclined to just pictures up on Facebook. However, that creates a problem because a series of pictures only tells part of the story. I can't always figure in the new inside jokes and cool things that happened outside of the pictures. And this makes me sad.
So, her is my compromise to myself: I will put up all my pictures on Facebook, and the story-telling will stay here on my blog. I will also post a few photos here so as not to go crazy waiting for 15 pictures to upload with the bonus of having a few pretty things to look at. Done.
I've been feeling a little low the last couple weeks. I have a feeling it's a combo of the weather (temp has taken a nose-dive into the icy abyss) and the impending holidays and all the while knowing I will be away from the normal celebrations. And there is no telling when I'll make it back. It's made me feel very isolated. I feel like stuff is going on without me. Which is so weird because that's EXACTLY how I felt when I got back from Spain a few years ago. This is so bizarre. I think for now I need to stop worrying about everyone else and concentrate on myself. It doesn't matter what they are doing, as long as I feel ok with what I'm doing and where I'm at. I think if I just let that go I'll be a much happier person...and then I can get on with life.
Cari has coined it "city syndrome", when you are surrounded by people and yet feel connected to no one. It's probably made worse by being in a foreign city. I think that's a great way to describe how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm still trying to find a group that I fit in with. It was easy last time because I was in class everyday with American students who were all in the same situation. And Madrid was new and exciting! It was different than now. I spend most of my time with Spaniards who already have established networks of friends...or they have families. Even English-speakers that I meet seem to have their niche already cut out in this city. It's left me in no-man's land. I am a part of all these groups and yet I'm not really a vital part of any. And this is where my loneliness kicks in.
However, I started thinking about all the great people I do have here that I can count on:
1) My roommates: Never have I had such a great living situation. Who knew that living with 2 (completely undate-able) guys would be so easy and drama-free. I recommend it to anyone looking for a roommate...girl/boy mixture is the way to go.
2)Raelynne and Guillaume: they opened their home to me and made my transition in Spain as painless as possible. They also held one heck of a Thanksgiving!
3) Ester and Yolanda: the teachers I work with at school who have made my quality of life rise ten-fold. They, along with the students, are the reason I look forward to weekday mornings. I wish we could hang out more.
There are of course more, but these are the people who are always there. I'm so thankful for them :) I know this list will be longer before long.
Peace
~Caralyn
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